Arizona Diamondbacks – If they can get Brandon Webb back in a decent amount of time, they will have the rotation to put them in position for playoffs. However, I will say 4th place finish.

Jason Heyward

Atlanta Braves- Rookie Jason Heyward already has the media grabbing their ankles over his potential, if he lives up to it he could really help the Braves grab a wildcard spot.

Baltimore Orioles – I will say now that they will be the best 4th place team. Too bad they play in the AL east.

Boston Red Sox – I think that this will be a down year for the Boston Bandwagon. Expect a good record, but they won’t hang with the Yankees.

Chicago Cubs- Once the Cubs realize that Milton Bradley wasn’t their team chemistry problem last year, who will it be this year? Ted Lilly? Zambrano? Pinella?

Chicago White Sox- Ozzie Guillen is hilarious. I follow this team just to hear what kind of fucked up stuff he will say next. They will compete for the AL central.

Cincinnati Reds – I actually have them winning the NL Central. I like them a lot. Explosive lineup in a hitters park, and an above average rotation could pay off big.

Cleveland Indians- The Indians are the youngest team in the bigs. That doesn’t mean shit in terms of being good. They have a bright future but will be playing 4th or possibly 5th fiddle in the AL Central.

Colorado Rockies – They are the “fun” and “sexy” pick to take the NL Pennant. Fuck that. They are  a smart pick if you ask me. They are one of the most balanced teams in the league.

Detroit Tigers- Justin Verlander is a beast. Rookie 2B Scott Sizemore is something to be excited about, but I think the Tigers will miss the playoffs…. again.

Ricky Nolasco

Florida Marlins

- Ricky Nolasco is a potential Cy Young winner. Hanley Ramirez is arguably the best player in baseball, so why won’t they win their division?

Houston Astros- Not much to say here really, sooooo….. The train that takes off when homeruns are hit in Minute Maid park is pretty cool.

Kansas City Royals- Dear Zack Greinke, free agency will come soon enough and you can cash in on a winning team because your team blows.

Matt Kemp

LA Angels – Best top to bottom starting rotation in baseball. That could carry them to the World Series.

LA Dodgers – Something tells me that Manny will talk to the media again before the end of the year. Matt Kemp will be a superstar at the end of the year and not just because he is shacking up with girlfriend Rhianna.

Milwaukee Brewers – If Prince Fielder doesn’t eat the team, he could possibly win the NL MVP award this year. His team will most likely keep him from it.

Minnesota Twins- Now that the Twins have locked up Joe Mauer, they can focus on winning the World Series. Too bad for them because in the playoffs they have to face the Yankees or the Angels.

New York Mets – With their payroll, they should not be competing for a 3rd place finish, but that is what is going to happen. Jason Bay was a good pick up but he may regret it.

Will They Repeat?

New York Yankees – The Yanks got better during the off season. They are fucking good….REPEAT!

Oakland Athletics – I like their jerseys…..that’s all I got.

Philadelphia Phillies- The Phillies upgraded their roster from last year and Roy Halladay is the reason why. They could win their 3rd straight NL pennant.

Pittsburgh Pirates- Andrew McCutcheon should excite Pirates fans. Outside of that they can always look forward to watching the Steelers near the end of their dreadful baseball season.

San Diego Padres – The NL West will be a tight race to the finish, too bad the Padres won’t be a part of it. Say goodbye to Adrian Gonzalez around the trade deadline.

San Francisco Giants- The Giants better hope Lincecum turns in his best year this year because legalization of marijuana is on Cali’s November ballot and if it passes Lincecum’s stats will slowly decline.

Seattle Mariners – Probably the best 1-2 punch in Felix Hernandez and Cliff Lee…. The rest of the team will let everybody down.

St. Louis Cardinals- It is very hard not to win with Albert Pujols. I think the Cards will find enough ways to lose with him to not win the division.

Tampa Bay Rays- The Rays will battle it out with a few teams for the AL wildcard spot. Evan Longoria might supplant A-Rod as the best 3rd baseman in the league this year.

Texas Rangers- This is my sleeper pick. I say they get the AL wildcard and possibly make some noise in the playoffs. If not, time to do some blow with the coach to help deal with the pain of missing another year of the playoffs.

Toronto Blue Jays- I can’t name anybody on their starting rotation…soooooo.

Washington Nationals- They will be better than last year, but still the worst team in the league. Stephen Strasburg, get ready to pitch in front of 12 people.

Pot advocates need to realize that they have slim chances of getting this passed. Every state has enough pot smokers to get enough signatures to get a bill on a ballot, the hard part is getting voters to vote on it. If it does get passed, imagine being in a gas station and hearing, “Hey, can I get some Mary J Lights?” or “I’ll take a bag of Cannabis X.” It would be weird to see and hear on a daily basis. The California economy might pick up, because the taxes on marijuana would generate a lot of money. We would also see a whole new crop of farmers.

I, for one, do not smoke marijuana nor do I have the desire to do it. I do however, realize why marijuana users think it should be legalized. Alcohol does far more damage to your body and to your state of mind than marijuana does, yet alcohol is advertised on T.V. everyday. I’m not trying to sound like a lil bitch about alcohol, I love me some alcohol. I’m just saying that I understand the argument. That being said, I will not say if I’m for or against the legalization of marijuana.

I personally think it is hilarious, although I understand why many are pissed off that it was taken so lightly because many children around the nation heard it. Give the guy a break though, it’s not like he is out bumping nasties with 16 different women,cough…Tiger Woods…cough. I though it was equally as hilarious when Dick Cheney told Senator Leahy to go fuck himself. For crying out loud Dick Cheney shot somebody in the face which vaults him to the top of funny VP’s.

Hey there guys! I know this web site is all about mancations, right? Well, if your not single, how are you going to get away with that? Are you married, dating or living with someone? You’ve got to figure out a way to get the lady in your life to go along with this man trip!

 First off if you’re single…more power to you, get out and live it up! For those of you that are not, you better break the idea of going away with your buddies to your lady friend easy and preferably in advance. This way she can make plans to keep herself busy instead of hating you while you’re gone. I know you’re thinking that maybe it’s better to tell her as you’re walking out the door, this way she can’t argue, right? If you do that be prepared for a cranky reception from her when you get back, better yet, you might not want to bother coming back.
 
 Here’s an idea….remind her how hard you work, and how much you appreciate all that she does for you. Make sure she knows how much you enjoy you’re time together but that you need male bonding time just as much as she needs her girl time with her friends.This is a nice way to soften her up and break the ice!  Then tell her that the guys are planning a trip away and that you think she should consider making some exciting plans with her family and friends to keep her occupied while you’re gone. You see this needs to be a positive thing for everyone involved. It’s a chance for you to go with the guys, get away from responsibilities, cut loose, and act like a total man. Instead of pissing her off because you get to escape from reality you need to paint a pretty picture of how relaxing it will be for her while you’re gone….no arguing, no cooking, hell you don’t even care if she does the laundry or dishes while you’re gone, right?  EXACTLY!!!!!
 
It might be wise of you to bring her back something thoughtful, it would score you some bonus points. I’m not talking a t-shirt either. How about an inexpensive, but not cheap, piece of jewelry. We like those cute little travel bottles of shampoo, lotion, etc. from the hotel too. Oh and another thing…. I know the last thing you want to do is think about home while you’re gone but taking the time to call or text at least once a day, this will show her she’s on your mind and keep you in her good graces while you’re away.  A word to the wise though, don’t do this while you’re drunk.
 
Finally, be prepared to put up with some mild hostility when you get home. Face it, she’s totally jealous of your recent get-a-way so cut her some slack. Best thing you can do is show her how much you missed her while you were gone, and tell her how you appreciate her letting you go. Good luck with your lady, and have a great mancation!

Armon Basset and the Bracket Busting Bobcats

First off, all I have to say is “FUCK YOU OHIO BOBCATS!” Man talk about raping my bracket, and I know I’m not alone. I bet 90% of people who filled out their brackets had Georgetown going to at least the Sweet 16. I picked all the other upsets, except for Washington over Marquette.. cough fuck you Washington….cough. Now that I got that off my chest I let’s predict some round 2 games.

The Midwest will have three pretty good games. Kansas vs Northern Iowa, Ohio State vs Georgia Tech, and Maryland vs Michigan State will all be good games (expect Kansas to pull away later than usual) but I am going to go with the higher seeds in all three (Kansas, OSU, and Maryland). The Ohio Bobcats could muster up another big upset by beating Tennessee, but I am going to stick with the higher seed pick and go with the Volunteers.

The West Region has potential upsets in all four games. Gonzaga could bite Syracuse in the taint if the Cuse isn’t careful….I’m going with Syracuse. Murray State did as I said they would and upset Vanderbilt on Thursday, I don’t think they will get past Butler but don’t be shocked if the do. Xavier or Pitt? Hmmm…. Coin toss says Pitt but it could really go either way, I’m not confident if I picked either way. If BYU’s Jimmer Fredette shoots lights out like he did against Florida, and the rest of BYU’s squad helps him out then we could see an upset of Kansas State. I don’t see it happening, K-State gets the W.

In the East, Kentucky will roll over Wake Forest by double digits. Cornell will need an even bigger performance if they expect to upset the defensive minded Wisconsin Badgers, I say Wisconsin ends up on top. Washington should score a lot of points against the defensiveless New Mexico Lobos, but New Mexico will score more. West Virginia bend Missouri over and deliver.

Down South, the week #1 seed Duke Blue Devils will take out Cali. Texas A&M will take out the Boilermakers and by the way, I wish I could re-do my bracket because I would have A&M in the Final Four. Baylor, my actual South Region winner, will beat Old Dominion. I expect Villanova to bounce back and beat the fuck out of St. Mary’s, Scottie Reynolds will not perform the way he did against Robert Morris.

This is Waaay to Safe of a Distance

As Spring approaches the weather obviously starts changing for the better. However, if you live in Tornado Alley (Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas) then you know what this time of the year means, “TAKE COVER!” Personally, when I lived in Oklahoma this was my favorite time of the year. I loved when the clouds would get dark, the thunder would start, and the tornado sirens started blaring. A lot of people act like fucking Japanese people running from Godzilla but not me and my team of very inexperienced tornado chasers. If you have never watched a tornado in real life, I highly advise you do it.

I understand that there are huge risks in trying to catch a glimpse of a twister but I say fuck it, the reward is worth risk. My best advice for you if you are wanting to follow a tornado is to trail a storm team. When my friends and I would follow tornadoes we would always seem to find a News Network Storm Team and would follow them around. Remember though, the storm teams have really good equipment so they don’t need to get really close to a twister, they can get all the info they need and still stay a very safe distance away. If you are wanting to get into the belly of the beast, then you will have to press on further than the storm team (they are just used so that you have a good understanding of where shit is about to go down). Once you see the twister, grab you camera or your phone and start clicking pics and videos. You aren’t going to want to stick around for too long or you will end up thrown into a fucking tree with a branch shoved so far up your ass you will have leaves hanging out of your grill. But hey, maybe your camera will be found so we will get to see some kick ass picks.

Now you might be asking yourself, why in the hell is this dude so in love with chasing tornados? Well I lived in Oklahoma and all there was to do was cook meth, grow weed, or chase tornados…..Take your pick!

Cokehead? I think so!

So it came out today that my beloved Texas Rangers’ manager, Ron Washington, is a cokehead or WAS a cokehead. As much as I like the guy they should have fired him. Now when I go to watch the Indians home opener against the Rangers, I’ll get to listen to all of the fucking Tribe’s fans calling Washington a cokehead which in turn will bring up Josh Hamilton’s past drug problems and then before you know it the Texas Rangers will be labeled a bunch of fucking crack heads. On the other hand, Washington is a great manager and could make a lot of his drug hazing go away by bringing home a World Series. Who am I kidding, we have about as much chance of winning the World Series as Brangelina not adopting another fucking foreign kid….ya it’s not gonna happen. In the meantime Ron, you could do more to not look like such a fucking crackhead. Seriously man, something about you screams crackhead and I honestly thought that prior to you calling yourself out. Well, here’s to you Ron, good luck in the future.

Before I dive into this, I am telling you that I have the #1 seeds going to the Elite Eight in all regions. I feel that deserves no explanation.

Midwest Region
UNLV vs Northern Iowa could be one of the better games in the first round of the tourney because both coaches express defense. UNLV will play more of it and get the win. If the OK State vs Ohio State match-up happens in the second round, we will get the chance to see two of the best college players face off in James Anderson and Evan Turner, expect Turner to win that battle. There has been a lot of stress on the fact that Kansas supposedly has the hardest path to the final four, yet if Kansas is the team they are made out to be, they should sweep through the Midwest region with their biggest test coming from the winner of the Georgetown vs Ohio State game. Kansas will be in the Final Four.

West
I’m excited to see the Joseph brothers play in against each other in the Syracuse vs Vermont match-up, but other than that Syracuse will leave Vermont fans feeling very under excited. Watch out for Murray State, they could make a run into the Sweet 16 if not more. UTEP over Butler could be another potential upset, but Murray State over Vandy makes more sense because Murray State is such a balanced team, all five of their top scorers average within a point a game of each other. To me, this region is all about the build up to the showdown between Syracuse and Kansas State, which with the Cuse’s injuries, Kansas State should wrap up the W and move on to the Final Four.

East Region
I really like New Mexico and I almost picked them to get to the Elite Eight, instead they will settle for a trip to the Sweet 16. Cornell should upset Temple because they are the best 3 point shooting team in the nation and they don’t turn the ball over. But their journey will end against Wisconsin. Kentucky and WVU seem destined to meet in the East finals and I have John Wall and the Wildcats advancing to the Final Four. 

South Region
I hate Duke. They shouldn’t even be a #1 seed and on top of that they get the easiest region. Whatever. They will not be in the Final Four! The only upset I can see happening in the first round is Siena taking out the Hummeless Purdue Boilermakers. The best game in the region will be between the Baylor Bears and the Villanova Wildcats. To me, that game will decide who wins the region regardless of Duke. Expect to see Baylor dancing all the way to the Final Four.

As far as the Final Four is concerned, the four teams I picked to make it (Kansas, Kansas State, Kentucky, and Baylor) could get up ended and then I will have spewed all of this shit for nothing. So, I elaborate on the Final Four when the time comes. Expect a few posts regarding the tourney as unfolds until then……

Her Bracket can be found Here.

Now if this comes back to bite me in the ass and her bracket is better than mine, I will never fucking watch a game of men’s hoops again!